At the School District of Lancaster, we believe that teaching students how to understand and manage their emotions is as essential as any academic lesson. That’s why we’re thrilled to be implementing RULER, an approach to social and emotional learning (SEL) designed to help people of all ages develop emotional intelligence. RULER is more than just a curriculum—it’s a lifelong toolkit that supports students, educators, and families in fostering self-awareness, empathy, and positive relationships.
Talking to Your Child About Emotions
Talking to children about their emotions can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. The key is helping them see emotions as important information. Here’s a powerful truth we emphasize in RULER: All emotions are okay. It’s what we choose to do with those emotions that truly matters.
Through RULER, your child is developing a superpower called self-awareness. This ability to recognize and understand their own emotions will help them make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and achieve their best selves in school and at home. To support your child in developing this skill, try checking in with them regularly about how they’re feeling. Ask questions that invite them to reflect on their emotions, like:
- How much energy do you have in your body right now?
- How pleasant or unpleasant are you feeling?
- Can you think of a feeling word that matches how you’re feeling?
- Do you want to stay in this emotion, or do you want to shift to a different one?
- How can I help you stay in this feeling, or help you shift to another?
This small habit of checking in helps your child put words to their emotions and make thoughtful choices. The more they can practice this at home, the more regulated, engaged, and present they’ll be in all areas of life.
What is RULER?
RULER is an approach to SEL that teaches emotional intelligence in ways that benefit students, families, and school communities as a whole. Its goal is to create healthier, more equitable, and compassionate environments. By making emotions part of everyday conversations, we help students and families recognize their power to shape learning, decision-making, relationships, and overall well-being.
The RULER Skills: Building Emotional Intelligence Together
RULER stands for five essential emotional intelligence skills:
- Recognizing emotions in oneself and others
- Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions
- Labeling emotions with a nuanced vocabulary
- Expressing emotions in a way that aligns with cultural norms and social context
- Regulating emotions with helpful strategies
These skills empower people of all ages to understand and use their emotions in meaningful, healthy ways. RULER skills are personal and social, reinforcing positive change at home and in school.
The RULER Tools: Practical Support for Families
RULER includes four core tools that guide emotional learning in our school community. These tools are used by students, teachers, staff, and families to create a supportive, positive climate:
- Charter: A collaborative agreement on how we want to feel, what we’ll do to feel that way, and how we’ll support each other.
- Mood Meter: A tool that helps students develop emotional awareness by mapping their feelings based on energy and pleasantness, helping them recognize and regulate emotions.
- Meta-Moment: A process for handling intense emotional situations by pausing and thinking before acting, promoting empathy and self-regulation.
- Blueprint: A guide to conflict resolution that promotes understanding, empathy, and ways to repair relationships.
How Families Can Support Emotional Learning at Home
RULER isn’t just for students and teachers—it’s for families, too. By reinforcing these skills at home, parents and caregivers can play a vital role in helping children use emotions wisely and thrive in their daily lives.
Our goal is to make emotional learning an enduring part of your child’s life by empowering you with these tools. Together, we can help them become more empathetic, self-aware, and resilient individuals, capable of forming strong relationships and achieving success in school and beyond.
Thank you for being part of this journey with us! Let’s continue working together to create a positive, supportive environment where every student feels valued and equipped to succeed.